Updated: Jun 7, 2020
My most natural time to write is 3-5 a.m.
This or That?
Wouldn’t you know.
What started out innocently as a simple little bedtime routine with my son when he was teeny tiny, has become this huge anchor in both our relationship and also our lives.
Often times this is a recall of some verse...
Some verse that “sticks”...
Some verse that sticks enough to recall...
To recall at night...
at the end of a typically long day.
It doesn’t have to be a bible verse.
It can be any kind of quote that serves as an anchor point...
A favorite verse of his is Psalm 55:22
Cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you. He will never let the righteous fall.
This is where I get to practice.
I get to practice...
A well asked question becomes the means...
the means to connect...
to connect to my growing son’s heart...
I get two chances to access his “being” well.
Sometimes the answers sound like “usual”
Over time I’ve listened well enough to know that though the word says “usual,” from day to day, “usual” can actually look quite different. Sometimes I get to “mine out” the impact of that different “usual” on one boy’s growing heart and mind.
This or that.
This is actually a great “sifter.”
You know... like...
Salty or sweet?
Hot or cold?
Ocean or mountain?
Smooth or rough?
Those are some of the easy ones.
But “This or That” can be used to really get in there and see what the world looks like from the order in his universe.
A tough one might be like...
Would you rather have a simple meal with a close friend or a huge meal of all your favorite foods with a crowd of people you don’t know very well?
I learn he values connecting over his appetite.
This information gets stored. I store it because I can use this information to help reflect him back to him as he travels through life. Eventually, over time as he will have to make more and more difficult decisions. But now, I will have a reserve of information to draw from to help ask good questions when he is sorting through, trying to decide.
Take a moment...
Think about who...
Who in your life are you attempting to understand better?
Run an experiment.
For the next car trip, or day, or week, or month, or year, or lifetime.
Run the series.
In everything give thanks... this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you...1 Thessalonians 5:18. Or for my other child that isn’t too crazy when I use bible “lingo” I might say, “that In everything give thanks... this is the action of pouring out love right now... down here... right where you are...
Make them good ones!
What is your favorite color kernel of popcorn? Red, Yellow, White, or Black
Me? White. He likes Red.
A quiet evening at home with a book in front of the fireplace? Or a night snowshoe wearing a headlamp through the woods?
Me? Hands down. The snowshoeing option.
He says, book but I’d drag him out for the snowshoe option.
This or That
Line or a circle?
Circle all the way.
He usually hopes for two This or That’s
So...I might go a little deeper...
Broken arm? Or a broken heart?
My son says broken arm. But tonight I asked another child. She started to say broken arm, but then she changed her mind to the broken heart. When I asked why, I was blown away. She said, you learn more from a broken heart and God, who is full of Love, is close to the brokenhearted. Wow! I have so much to learn from that girl!